Will I be able to catch my breath?

I am going to visit Colorado in July. I am more excited than I could ever express! I can’t wait to hug my family. I just start crying when I think of having them around me. I can’t wait to hold my nephews in my arms, and laugh with my nieces while we dance around. I can’t wait to look into my sisters eyes and feel their emotion as we talk. I can’t wait to feel my daddies strong arms around my neck. I can’t wait to see my brothers smiles. I can’t wait to feel the warmth of each one of them.

                                                                                    BUT……

I’m sure no one ever thought there would be a BUT for me when speaking of such things. I am nervous. There are parts of me that are actually scared to go back home. I’m afraid that I will feel like I am going back home from a long vacation, and then when it hits me that I will have to leave…. I just don’t know how my heart will handle it. I’m nervous that there won’t be enough time. I’m nervous that I won’t be able to catch my breath when I have to say good bye again. There are parts of me that would just rather not face that pain again. I really don’t know how some people do it. Is it just cause I love my family to much. My heart breaks.

How will I walk away from my momma and daddies arms again? How will I let go of my nieces as their arms are wrapped tightly around my neck? How will I leave? How will I leave again?

I guess I just have to trust the Lord again. I will have to breath deep His love for me, that will never leave me or forsake me. I have to know that my heart is in His hands and so are my families hearts. We all make a nice heart mix in the palm of His hand. I'll be ok. I do have my Jesus, my Adam and my other family here. So, even though I know it won't be anything but hard to leave them again, I know I will survive! I love my family oh so very much!

You don't know what you have till you don't have it at you fingertips.