pUzzLES

I'm missing Colorado today. Life is seeming to put itself together here in Michigan, however there are so many moments I catch my heart feeling.... how to say... vacant. It's not so often that I can't be here and enjoy where I am in life, but just enough that my heart strings tug. Its usually the hard times I have here. I feel like my heart is settling itself but there are still parts of it that I feel will always be restless. Michigan is really more than so so, its beautiful and full of opportunity, but its just no Colorado... my home. I've never experienced hard before. You see, for me this is the hardest life experience I have ever faced. No person close to me has ever passed away. I still have my grandparents on both sides still alive, for heavens sake. I have never been really sick. I have never had to experience addiction to anything for myself or anyone close to me. So although the thought of moving away from their home and family for someone else might seem insignificant, for me it is the hardest. Before I moved here people would say "So how are you feeling about your upcoming move to MI?" I would always respond, " I'm excited. I know it will be 'hard' but I'm excited." I really didn't know what I was saying. Here I am experiencing "hard", and it is hard. Like the hard where I feel like in CO my life was a nice puzzle that was all put together beautifully. I had even decoupage it. A beautiful apartment with everything in its place, finances stable even more than enough, a great church, great friends, good jobs, etc. Then I got into our car at 4 am the day after Christmas to move here to MI and the whole puzzle was smashed on the ground. And since then I've been sitting on the floor trying to put it back together. I'm even finding that it is made up of new peaces, some old some new, as I put it back together. I don't even get the pleasure to see the picture on the front of the box before hand so that I can see what the end result should be. I'm so thankful though that I can look to my right and see Adam working just as hard on it and that the Lord is standing behind us encouraging us. He sees the whole picture on the box. This whole analogy is hard and yet so comforting because even though I know how it feels to have everything together, when life feels like it has fallen apart I have my loving husband going through it with me and a God who knows all helping both of us. I don't know how people do it with out Him. Having to carry all the burdens of life on their own shoulders, having to try to put the puzzles together alone... Well, all that to say, I miss Colorado, my family and my put together life. BUT I am ok, thankful even. I get to have the adventure of finding out what kind of beautiful pictures this puzzle will have on it. Once I have this picture all put together it will crash too and I'll have to put a new one together. With each puzzle I put together I will always use peaces from the old. At the end of life it will be a beautiful picture of hardship, tears, family, friends, adventure, joy, experience, and love. I will like to see it someday!